The Condition of Spirituality

            "For this saith the high and lofty One who inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones"  Isa. 57:15 KJV

                "For thou desirest not sacrifice, else would I give it; thou delightest not in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Ps. 51: 16-17 KJV

            When Peter first heard of the Lord Jesus Christ and was brought to him by his brother Andrew, we are told the first thing Jesus did was to "look" at him or “behold” him. (Jn. 1:42 NASB). Many have written about this “look” of the Saviour, and I would like to share a few of my thoughts and their thoughts about this precious passage of Scripture in the beginning of our study on spirituality.

            Stephan Kaung, in his booklet Discipled to Christ, mentions that the word "look" in this verse does not mean to glance at or to look upon briefly, but means to look or gaze upon intently.   We are told the first thing the Lord did with Peter was to "look intently" upon him. What a look of the Saviour that must have been.  Peter's heart must have melted in love for Jesus as a result of that look, because Peter more than any other disciple, as recorded in the Gospels, earnestly and exuberantly followed the Lord with all his being, with all the strength and love he could muster. Oh, how he loved the Lord.  It must have seemed at times that the whole world could not contain the love he had for the Master - and oh, how the Lord loved Peter. Peter was taken by the Lord into the innermost circle of disciples, indeed it seems that the Lord had a special love for Peter, for in Peter he found someone who loved Him with all his heart, soul, and might.  Such is the type of followers the Lord desires. 

            Have you responded to the gaze of the Master, with your entire being?  Remember that day when Jesus looked upon you with His gaze of love and mercy, that day when Jesus first saved you and forgave you of all your sins?  Wasn't that a glorious day?  Did you respond like Peter?     Oh, how we should love our Saviour with all our heart. Without such an all-consuming love, we can never go on to spirituality and full maturity.

            Such was the heart of Peter. When Peter finally found the One in whom his soul so long had sought, he determined to follow the Lord wherever the Lord might lead.  And we find the Lord did not discourage Peter in his exuberance, but began to mold and make him into one of His most preeminent apostles - but oh how much Peter had to learn.

            Andrew Murray states, in his book Absolute Surrender, that -

            "Peter was a man of absolute surrender; he gave up all to follow Jesus. Peter was also a man of ready obedience. You remember Christ said to him, 'Launch out into the deep, and let down the net.' Peter the fisherman knew there were no fish there, for they had been toiling all night and had caught nothing; but he said: ' At thy word I will let down the net.' He submitted to the word of Jesus. Further, he was a man of great faith. When he saw Christ walking on the sea, he said; 'Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee'; and at the voice of Christ he stepped out of the boat and walked upon the water....Peter was a splendid man, a devoted disciple of Jesus, and if he were living nowadays, everyone would say that he was an advanced Christian.  And yet how much there was wanting in Peter!"^[1] 

Why?

 "...Because he had not been brought to an end of himself; he did not know himself."^[2]

            This is the condition that needs to be met if we want to live in true spirituality. We must be brought to an end of ourselves; an end to our own ingenuity and strength; an end to our own natural abilities and creativity carried over and used in place of the power of the Holy Spirit in the work of God.   And this end can only be brought about by a complete self-disclosure of our self by the skillful hand of our Master.  This is what it means to be broken in spirit.  We're often so full of ourselves as we live the Christian life, so sure of our methods, so sure of our own abilities to get the job done, so sure of our intellect to comprehend the Word of God.   Yet, one cannot be brought to full spirituality as long as one is still so confident in himself.  And this is what Peter had to learn.

            Peter followed the Lord in his own strength, with his own natural abilities.  He followed the Lord with all his heart, but he did not understand that the Lord desired more of His disciples.  He wanted disciples to follow Him not only with all their heart, but also disciples who followed Him in the way of the cross. Jesus said a disciple could not follow Him completely unless a disciple was willing to "...deny himself, and take up his cross..." (Matt. 16:24).  Self, with all its confidence, strength, and ability had to be denied. It had to be left at the cross. This is what Peter still had to learn, and it is what we must still learn, if we would follow Jesus.

            Stephan Kaung, in his booklet Discipled to Christ, says it this way -

            "...The greatest hindrance to following the Lord lies in ourselves.  If only Christ can be granted the permission to deal with our self-life, then He can do anything and everything with us - which is exactly what we will eventually find in the story of Simon Peter.”^[3]

            Peter had said in Matt. 26:33-35 that "Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away." Oh, the love, yet also self-confidence of Peter! He said he never would desert the Lord, yet Jesus says in the next verse, "Truly I say to you that this very night, before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  But Peter was still so sure of himself, for he had not been broken in spirit.     
         

            Peter responds to the prophetic word of Jesus in this way. "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" Such was the life of Peter up to this point of his walk with the Lord. But all that was going to change.

            Stephan Kaung continues in his booklet about this incident,

            "...So confident was Peter in himself here. Yet the result was that he fell to the bottom. He could not even watch with his Master in the Garden of Gethsemane! Where was his self-confidence there? His flesh could not even endure an hour's test. And ultimately, we shall find that Peter denied his Lord repeatedly. (See Matt. 26:69-75). In other words, this man's pride and boasting fell so completely that he came to the very end of himself.”^[4]

            Not only did Peter not die for the Lord, he did not even acknowledge that he knew the Saviour. Yet in all this, Peter still did not recognize his weakness or frailty, and so the Lord did something that totally undid him.   We are told in Luke 22:61 that immediately after Peter’s final denial that the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Scripture does not tell us the Lord said anything, it says simply that He looked upon Peter, and what is interesting, is that this word for look is the same word used in John 1:42 when the Lord first looked upon Peter.  It was not a mere glance, but a penetrating gaze.  The Lord did not have to say anything when Peter’s eyes met the eyes of the Saviour. Luke tells us, when their eyes met, Peter remembered the word of the Lord that he would deny Him, and it was then that Peter finally saw himself for what he really was.  Peter had a full self-disclosure of himself by the searching look of his Master’s gaze and Scripture tells us he immediately went out and wept bitterly.  

            What a look of the Lord that must have been to Peter. The same look, which years before, had so captured Peter and filled him with so much love for the Master, now completely undid him and broke him.  That penetrating look of the Master changed Peter forever.  No longer would he trust in himself or his own abilities. He was broken in spirit forever. Have you ever had that second look of the Lord?  We've all had the first look of the Lord, that wonderful look of love and mercy. But have you seen the second look of the Lord?  We can never hear the voice of the Lord, as long as we are still filled with the voice of self. We can never sense the promptings of the Holy Spirit, if we are still prompted by self.  If we would go on with the Lord, we must not hide our face from His second look.  We must allow Him to do His work of love within our heart.  Without it, as William Law says, “our humility will still help our pride, and our charity to others will still aid our own self-love.”  We need full self-disclosure by the Spirit of God.  We need our Lord's second look.  But God never leaves us with just a second look.  Our Lord is not a hard Master - all that He brings us through springs out of His great and tender love for us.  It is not pleasant to see the second look of the Master and be broken, but it is necessary.  The way of the cross will always lead to the end of our self, but beyond this end is the third look of the Master. And this look brings our focus back to Him.  The Lord doesn't want us to continually dwell on the awfulness of self, but rather would have us gaze back into His wonderful face.  This is His third look.
   

            Paul tells us in I Cor. 15:5 that after the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, the first apostle He appeared to was Peter. We do not know anything of this third look of Jesus.  What a tender meeting it must have been, I'm sure there was much weeping and sorrow.  But you know the third look of Jesus completely restored Peter.  No longer was Peter so boisterous in his relationship to the Lord.  At a later time, he couldn't even say that he loved Jesus (with the same Greek word for love the Saviour used), as seen in John chapter 21; he could only say he had “affection” for Jesus (a lesser Greek word for love).  But you know, I think Peter's love had never been stronger than it was at that time. It is just that he didn't know it, but the Lord knew it!  And that is why He told Peter to feed His sheep.  It is only as God brings us to the end of ourselves that we can truly be useful to the Master's Work, because it is only then that we can truly be filled with His Holy Spirit, and begin a life of spirituality.

            This is the first condition of spirituality - brokenness.  Let's not trust in ourselves any longer in our personal walk, or in our own natural ability to do God's Work, because God wants to bring us to an end of ourselves and fill us with His Spirit. And it is through this discipline and filling of the Holy Spirit that we gain our entrance into spirituality - an entrance that will allow us not only to understand the nature of God, but also will allow us to understand our own nature. 

            By understanding the nature of God, we gain an understanding of ourselves.  God created us according to His image and likeness. It is of utmost importance to understand the nature with which God created us, for such an understanding will be the beginning of a truly spiritual life - a life that is in the image and likeness of God.  May He truly have His way in our lives.

B.P.H.

(Taken from the book "Press on to Spirituality)